Whether they are comedies, thrillers or dramas, we're always creating elaborate stories about others and ourselves. What fabulous tales has your mind been designing recently?
I don't know if you've noticed, but what we live in a day, and what we actually think we've lived, is often very far from the truth or the reality of those events. While this is hardly a problem when everything is going honky dory, our creative thinking can bring a lot of strain, stress, anger, or sadness when those stories are unpleasant.
A few days ago I was traveling on a packed tram. I'd been walking all day and was desperate to sit down. When suddenly as if by magic, I saw a lady stand up ready to leave at the next stop. But as I approached her, instead of moving away to free the seat, she just blocked it while standing in front of it. My director's mind took over straight away. Introducing: "The inconsiderate cow that doesn't even notice that I am there and that I want to sit down!"
“I formulated all sort of things in my head, how she really must be doing it on purpose and how selfish she was, etc... Had you heard all the things I was telling myself about her and the situation, you'd think I'd known her all my life!”
She eventually left and freed the space for me to sit in. As I sat with a sigh of relief, it was as if I had changed frequency. A wave of laughter came over me at everything I had just thought about this poor woman, the dexterity and speed with which I had constructed a string of stories around her. Suddenly all sorts of other scenarios crossed my mind. This time they were a lot more empathetic.
Maybe she had received some bad news that day, or had worked a double shift, or was ill, or was lost in thoughts of a difficult decision, or was just somewhere else in that point in time, who knows... Eventually I realised how ridiculous the whole thing had been and how I had been so busy judging her behaviour that I’d had no brain power left just to tap her on the shoulder and ask her if I could sit down!
The facts were simple - A lady had got up from a seat in the tram and had waited for the next stop in front of it - yet the stories I created were multiple and all of my interpretations of her intentions whether positive or negative were pure fiction. Yet I was ready to wage “commuting war" at the outrage of her behaviour.
The reality is that I had written, directed, and starred in my own movie, and all of it in the short time between two tram stops ! And that was just with one of the most insignificant events of my day!
We play Spielberg all day long and the worse thing about it is that we believe what we create and claim it as truth. Next time you feel you're about to pick up your directors hat for a full on drama, ask yourself: What are the facts? What has really happened? If I don't interpret any of it, what is the situation really? This might save you a lot of time and energy.
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